So surely I should be body confident right? Not necessarily. Anyone, regardless of weight/build/etc, can lack body confidence.
Ever since my teenage years I have been self conscious about how flat-chested I am. I remember people at school saying that an 'A' for your bra size was the only time when an A wasn't the 'best' result. As a teenager, I wasted a lot of time hoping that one day I wouldn't be so flat-chested and would catch up with the other girls... but as a twenty three year old, I can confirm that the big boobs never magically appeared overnight.
Even now, I still avoid low cut tops or dresses at all costs and carefully select bras based on which make the most of what little I do have. I've also fretted that having small boobs somehow makes me less attractive, less desirable or less feminine. I've thought that I wasn't physically good enough for guys because there were other girls that were better options. It's easy to fall into a self critical way of thinking when it's affirmed in so many ways in your life and within society, especially on social media. In reality, when I take a step back, I know I'm not any thing 'less' just because I have smaller boobs than most - it's just difficult to change your mind set.
With time I have come to accept how my body is but I will continue to work on my body confidence.
Finally, in the words of Rupi Kaur:
"i reduced my body to aesthetics
forgot the work it did to keep me alive
with every beat and breath
declared it a grand failure for it not looking like theirs
searched everywhere for a miracle
foolish enough to not realise
i was already living in one"
(from 'the sun and her flowers')
Laura.
Song: Somebody Else by The 1975
