The Outside

I know people with anxiety and depression. Some of them are close friends of mine, others family members. Greater awareness is needed surrounding these issues but more importantly I think understanding is required. Despite being close to people with depression etc, it hasn't gained me access to their minds - to the inside. Mental health is a difficult subject. It's hard to understand, especially if you've never been in a similar position. A lot of people know of depression, panic attacks and anxiety but many don't know how to react or what to do about them and they can't be necessarily criticized for that.

Perhaps you'd think, as I initially did, that if a friend of yours started to suffer with one of these problems that you would recognize it straight away. But from personal experience I can tell you that this isn't always the case. Sometimes these problems don't show themselves on the outside at all. In hindsight maybe you will pick up on small things that do point towards what was going through their mind, but they are hard to spot at the time. As someone who has known people going through these issues I know it's difficult to know how to react, what to say, what to do. It doesn't mean you don't care or don't want to understand or help. I think it has to be recognized that generally mental health is a difficult topic for everyone. If people can gain better understanding of conditions such as depression they will then be able to help in some way, awareness isn't enough by itself. Being on the outside can be hard. In a way it can be like trying to do a maths problem without any basic knowledge of maths - it doesn't make any sense if you don't have context or understand the basic concepts. Obviously people with these issues need support and have a challenging time: I just wanted to highlight the difficulties from an outsiders perspective. Communicating and gaining some understanding is, in my opinion, the way forward when it comes to helping people facing mental health problems. 

I've linked a couple of websites that are particularly helpful regarding mental health:

Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/

NHS: http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Mentalhealthhome.aspx

I hope anyone who is experiencing mental health problems seeks help and support. Talking about it is one of the ways in which you can help those around you start to understand and hopefully help you in the long run. The stigma around mental health needs to be broken down through small actions and people sharing their stories because it won't happen by itself.

Laura.

Song: Say Something by A Great Big World / Ian Axel 

Types of Friendship

Friendship is a weird thing when you think about it. It isn't a planned or calculated. Obviously through school, sixth form and university - you are put in an environment where you repeatedly see the same people on a regular basis. In these situations it makes sense that you'll probably make friends with at least some of these people. But it's not how or when you make friends that is the important part, it's who you make friends with. 

It seems there are two main groups. There are always the fleeting friendships. The type where something connects you both for a while but it is not enough to prevent drifting apart over time. Then there are the lasting friendships: the ones that matter the most but don't always make perfect sense. These are the friendships that survive through disagreements, physical distance and then generally rough times. But what makes them last? I suppose there isn't just one answer. The concept of friendship is simple - two people who mutually have a connection between them. But in reality it is a complex thing. This is particularly the case due to the inevitability of time and change.

However, although things and people change I think the friendships that last show that these forces aren't purely destructive but can be constructive too. I've lost friends and made friends but the ones that remain despite the things life chucks at them are the ones I value most. Friends have the ability to expose the bad parts of yourself and bring out the good parts as well. They are there to share things with and sometimes just knowing someone cares is enough. The lasting friendships have strange, un-explainable connections that bind them together for years through everything - I think that's something worth maintaining and putting effort into.

I'd urge anyone who has a friend they haven't spoken to for a while to send them a message, even if it's just to ask how they're doing. These people are worth having around and aren't easily replaced. 

Laura.

Song: You'll Be Okay by A Great Big World