Goodbye 2014

I always thought that celebrating the New Year was one big cliche, but I've come to think that it is a bit more than just that. Although it may not be an automatic 'new start' or 'beginning', as realistically it is just another date on the calendar, the arrival of a new year can alter people's perspectives and inspire change. I think the New Year is what you make of it. Nothing drastically changes over night but it can be a time for people to consider the past year and hopefully take action to improve the next one. Although 2014 hasn't been a perfect year, every year has it's own ups and downs.

I'd like to thank all my friends who have stuck by me, especially the long term ones, and my family. I've definitely come to realise that ultimately it's the people in your life who are the most valuable.

Let's hope 2015 holds great things. As for the bad, well, we'll have to deal with that if and when it happens.

I wish everyone a good New Year.

Best wishes,

Laura.

“All living things contain a measure of madness that moves them in strange, sometimes inexplicable ways. This madness can be saving; it is part and parcel of the ability to adapt. Without it, no species would survive.” 

― Yann Martel, Life of Pi

Song: Of The Night by Bastille

Don't.

Sometimes other people say things and it just resonates with you...

"People don't change who they are at heart, don't think you can change somebody and don't let anybody change you. You may want to badly fit in with somebody and feel you should change in order to do so. This is a huge mistake... You are much better off to surround yourself with like minded people, people who drag you down and make you feel inadequate are bad for you. Don't give your precious time to people who leave you feeling low and unwanted. Give your time to people who hang off your every word and take a genuine interest in what you are talking about. Give your time to the people who share your thoughts and passions as these are the people who will help you become a better you."

Quote taken from this video: 'click here'

Laura.

Song: Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

Intentions and Plans

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
 - Douglas Adams

Sometimes I think we can plan ahead too much and when it doesn't turn out how we initially thought it would, it is easy to get down about it. But although I don't believe that everything happens for a reason, I do think that sometimes the unplanned, unexpected situations you end up in can turn out to be worthwhile and more beneficial in the long run - even if it doesn't seem it at the time.

Whatever happens, you just have to carry on regardless and learn what you can from it.

Laura.

Song: Like I Can by Sam Smith (Cover) by Becky CJ

Adjusting the Sails

"The longer I live, the more I realise that carrying around anger is the most debilitating to the person who bears it."
- Katherine Graham

I think this is a good thing to remember. Keeping grudges and being angry about things or people's actions never really helps anything. It probably just makes it a lot worse. Sometimes it's best to rise above it and remember what actually matters and what doesn't. There's a quote from Elizabeth Edwards: "She stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" when something doesn't go how you want it to, I suppose you have to work with what you have left and try not to let it get the better of you.

Laura.

Song: Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

One Big Machine

"I'd imagine the whole world was one big machine. Machines never come with any extra parts, you know. They always come with the exact amount they need. So I figured, if the entire world was one big machine, I couldn't be an extra part. I had to be here for some reason. And that means you have to be here for some reason, too."
- Hugo (2011)

I recently watched the film version of Hugo with my Dad. Visually it was beautiful - this quote stood out to me though. Need to get my hands on the book at some point as I've heard it comes with illustrations.

Laura.

Song: Amnesia by 5sos

Year One Complete

It's crazy to think that my first year of University is over already. It's only really struck me today as I've been packing away all my things into boxes and suitcases for when I move out of my room tomorrow that it is actually over. It seems like only yesterday that I was unpacking everything during the first weekend of Freshers, yet at the same time it seems so long ago. Half of me cannot wait to go home for the summer and the other half is sad to leave my little university room in Oakley three, clearly I get attached to things too easily. However, I'm looking forward to my second year and living in a different place outside of university accommodation.

I've met some great people this year, managed to look after myself and studied new things. It's probably one of the best decisions I have made. It's not always easy though - work can pile up, assessments stress you out and the first time you get ill away from home at uni can be pretty tough: but the goods outweigh the bads by far.

More posts coming over summer.

Laura.

Song: Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran

A Marvellous Victory

I can't help but post good quotes on here when I come across them...

"To be hopeful in bad times in not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasise in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places - and there are so many - where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction. And if we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand Utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is a marvellous victory." 
- Howard Zinn 

Laura.

Song: California by Delta Spirit (Cover) - Mitchel Emms

Youtube

I've been watching Youtube videos for a good four years or so now, obviously in that time the whole website has gone through many changes and has grown in popularity. However, the main concept remains the same: people producing content for other people to see. Recently there has been a lot of conversation about Youtube culture and the gap between makers/watchers and considering I don't really make videos I thought I'd write a short written response.

Inevitably the Youtube 'audience' is always going to be grouped together as one mass, which automatically means that it can be easy to forget that it is made up of lots of individuals. Within every audience there are going to be different ages, genders and personalities. Although there will always be some people who scream and shout when they see one of their favourite Youtubers - not every person will respond in that way. When I randomly met a well known Youtuber in London last year with a couple of my friends I realised how difficult it can be to express what you want to say concisely in a short period of time. Although our short exchange contained no shouting or screaming I did fear I would be classified as mere 'fan' who couldn't string an intelligent sentence together. I've never been to a gathering/meetup/convention but I can see how different these events are to bumping into a Youtuber in the street unexpectedly. I think the gap between the content makers and the viewers are emphasised at these events in particular because of the two 'groups'. The audience can become the 'other', something that needs to be controlled a restrained which I think can seem condescending.

Regarding 'idolisation' I have mixed feelings. Part of me thinks it's good for younger people to be inspired by 'real people' rather than the overly edited photos of the usual celebrities seen in glossy magazines. With both Youtubers and celebrities, you can never completely know them, you just get what they present and construct. I think it's good to have flawed, imperfect people in the public eye because realistically nobody is perfect - everybody makes mistakes and I think that's a good thing for young people to see. Perhaps the term 'idol' is the wrong word to be using but I understand the pressure some Youtubers must face when they have to maintain a standard for their audience. I do think that most viewers though just enjoy the content produced and can be inspired by it, they do not expect Youtubers to be perfect all the time.

I know I haven't suggested any answers or changes to solve some of these issues but I think it helps to talk about them and give the viewers, particularly those who don't make videos themselves, a voice.

Laura.

Song: It's Funny How Things Change by Becky CJ

Also see Charlie's Video: Here

Fifty Years

With shows like Jeremy Kyle constantly highlighting dysfunctional families and the endless number of couples breaking up, the concept of a lasting relationship begins to seem unrealistic and idealistic. However, my grandparents recently celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary and they are living proof this isn't always the case. They show that relationships can survive the test of time and the great changes brought along with it.

As I've mentioned in previous blog posts, my Nana and Grandad have always been a big part of my life. I'm so glad to have them both in my life and to have had the opportunity to know them. My Grandad still never fails to make me laugh with his commentary on any TV show and the little phrases he comes out with, or even his questions about how to do something on his iPhone. He's strong minded but I love that about him. My Nana will always be one of my favourite people. From playing games with me when I was young, to lending me books for alevel she hasn't changed that much - she is still the benevolent, kind and caring person I've always known her to be. Both of them have resilience and I think fifty years together shows that. Change and time are two things that can be very daunting but my grandparents relationship reminds me that they aren't completely destructive forces, but constructive too. One of the things I admire most about my grandparents though, is that they continue to help other people and be involved in greater causes. They are part of various groups within their community and are always giving - even if it's just their time and effort. Fifty years is a long time and it demonstrates that although time can draw people apart, it can also bind them together.

I'm so happy for my Nana and Grandad and I wish them all the best in the coming years. I hope I get to share loads more memories with them both - to add to the ones they've already had over the past fifty years. If I can ever find a relationship just a fragment of theirs, I'll know I'm doing something right.

"Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”




Laura.


Song: Can't Buy Me Love by The Beatles 

The Outside

I know people with anxiety and depression. Some of them are close friends of mine, others family members. Greater awareness is needed surrounding these issues but more importantly I think understanding is required. Despite being close to people with depression etc, it hasn't gained me access to their minds - to the inside. Mental health is a difficult subject. It's hard to understand, especially if you've never been in a similar position. A lot of people know of depression, panic attacks and anxiety but many don't know how to react or what to do about them and they can't be necessarily criticized for that.

Perhaps you'd think, as I initially did, that if a friend of yours started to suffer with one of these problems that you would recognize it straight away. But from personal experience I can tell you that this isn't always the case. Sometimes these problems don't show themselves on the outside at all. In hindsight maybe you will pick up on small things that do point towards what was going through their mind, but they are hard to spot at the time. As someone who has known people going through these issues I know it's difficult to know how to react, what to say, what to do. It doesn't mean you don't care or don't want to understand or help. I think it has to be recognized that generally mental health is a difficult topic for everyone. If people can gain better understanding of conditions such as depression they will then be able to help in some way, awareness isn't enough by itself. Being on the outside can be hard. In a way it can be like trying to do a maths problem without any basic knowledge of maths - it doesn't make any sense if you don't have context or understand the basic concepts. Obviously people with these issues need support and have a challenging time: I just wanted to highlight the difficulties from an outsiders perspective. Communicating and gaining some understanding is, in my opinion, the way forward when it comes to helping people facing mental health problems. 

I've linked a couple of websites that are particularly helpful regarding mental health:

Mind: http://www.mind.org.uk/

NHS: http://www.nhs.uk/livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/Mentalhealthhome.aspx

I hope anyone who is experiencing mental health problems seeks help and support. Talking about it is one of the ways in which you can help those around you start to understand and hopefully help you in the long run. The stigma around mental health needs to be broken down through small actions and people sharing their stories because it won't happen by itself.

Laura.

Song: Say Something by A Great Big World / Ian Axel 

Types of Friendship

Friendship is a weird thing when you think about it. It isn't a planned or calculated. Obviously through school, sixth form and university - you are put in an environment where you repeatedly see the same people on a regular basis. In these situations it makes sense that you'll probably make friends with at least some of these people. But it's not how or when you make friends that is the important part, it's who you make friends with. 

It seems there are two main groups. There are always the fleeting friendships. The type where something connects you both for a while but it is not enough to prevent drifting apart over time. Then there are the lasting friendships: the ones that matter the most but don't always make perfect sense. These are the friendships that survive through disagreements, physical distance and then generally rough times. But what makes them last? I suppose there isn't just one answer. The concept of friendship is simple - two people who mutually have a connection between them. But in reality it is a complex thing. This is particularly the case due to the inevitability of time and change.

However, although things and people change I think the friendships that last show that these forces aren't purely destructive but can be constructive too. I've lost friends and made friends but the ones that remain despite the things life chucks at them are the ones I value most. Friends have the ability to expose the bad parts of yourself and bring out the good parts as well. They are there to share things with and sometimes just knowing someone cares is enough. The lasting friendships have strange, un-explainable connections that bind them together for years through everything - I think that's something worth maintaining and putting effort into.

I'd urge anyone who has a friend they haven't spoken to for a while to send them a message, even if it's just to ask how they're doing. These people are worth having around and aren't easily replaced. 

Laura.

Song: You'll Be Okay by A Great Big World

Today

Today is...

- Valentine's Day.
- The halfway mark in my second term at University.

- One week until my nineteenth birthday.

I hope everyone had a lovely day, regardless of being in a relationship or not. Despite the commercial nature of Valentine's I think it's got all the right thoughts behind it - appreciating people and telling the people you love that you love them. That's something that people don't do enough of. It's also a reminder that it's the little things that can make a difference.

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia 

More posts coming soon hopefully!

Laura.

Song: Rather Be (Cover) by Becky CJ

Aims of 2014

For the past couple of years instead of a new year's resolution I have come up with a list of aims for the year. Last year I managed to achieve all my aims including: passing my driving test, getting into my first choice university, keeping in contact with friends from home while I'm away and being more confident and motivated. If you want to see the full list you can check my January posts from 2013.
I have come up with new ones for this year, let's see how many I complete in 2014!

- Get at least a 2.1 overall for my first year of University
- Stay in touch with my friends from home
- Think positively
- Drive on the motorway at some point
- Make the most of time I have with family & friends from home
- Travel somewhere I haven't been before
- Post at least twice a month on my blog

I might add to this list if I think of anything else in the next few weeks. Anyway, I hope that 2014 is a good year for you all, good luck if you've made any resolutions or aims for the year.

Laura.

Song: Happy by Pharrell Williams