Goodbye 2013

The end of twenty thirteen is nearly here, crazy.
Recently I've been thinking a lot about time and how important it is to make the most of the time you have with people in your life. I'm so, so glad to still have my amazing friends even though we've been spread across the country for the last few months - plus some new ones. I'm also thankful for my family, who I'd be lost without and they help me through everything. It's been a year of achievement and a year of change but overall 2013 has been good. I hope that regardless of what this past year has been like for you that you'll look forwards and not focus too much on the bad things. I look forward to seeing what the next year will bring and I wish you all a Happy New Year. Have a good one!

I'll being posting my 'Aims of 2014' sometime this week!

Laura.

Song: Right Place Right Time by Olly Murs

Glass of Water

'A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the 'half empty or half full' question. Instead, with a smile on her face she enquired, "How heavy is this glass of water?". The answers called out ranged from 8oz to 20 oz. She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. it depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralysed. In each case the eight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes." She continued, "The stress and worries in life are like that glass of water - think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them for a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralysed - incapable of doing anything." Always remember to put the glass down.'

Laura.

Song: Easy For You by Becky CJ

More quotes

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"She wanted none of those days to end, and it was always with disappointment that she watched the darkness stride forward." - Markus Zusak

"Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things, it just means you have to accept what happened and continue living."

I keep the little sticky notes open on my laptop desktop and whenever I find a good quote I copy & paste it there, so these are a few that have been hanging around there for a while. I thought I'd actually post them on here.

Laura.

Song: Better When You're Gone by Luke Conard

Clichés and Uni

When people have talked about 'finding yourself' at University in the past, I've always just cringed and seen it as a massive cliché. How can changing your location mean you suddenly see 'yourself'? But now I've been at University for a couple of months, I can sort of see what they are talking about.

Being at University forces you to be independent and strips you of the people you've grown up around. I still don't agree with the cringe-worthy phrase 'finding yourself' because it's not exactly like that. However, it is true that you start to see your own capabilities more when you're put in a situation where you have to look after yourself. It shows you what is left when the people and things you're used to having around are taken away and I suppose in a sense - what is left, is you. You don't suddenly change and become a completely different person - but it highlights what you can be and can do by yourself.

I think we have a tendency to underestimate ourselves and think we can't do certain things. Sometimes though, you just have to be thrown in at the deep end and surprisingly enough you'll probably find you stay with your head above the water.

Laura.

Song: Come Undone by Adam Barnes

University and Things

So it appears that I've had about a month where I haven't blogged at all, I don't really know where all the time went but we're now in October and I'm sat in my University room - craziness.

So basically this is just going to be a brief update, hopefully I'll get back into blogging once I've settled into the work a bit more. Everything is going quite well at the moment, lectures and seminars started this week. Although I've only had a few, I can already tell I'm going to have to be mega organised but my course seems interesting - which is good as it means I haven't suddenly lost interest in my subjects over the summer break. Everyone I've met so far is lovely and easy to talk to, including my housemates, I also love my accommodation. I'm pleased I applied the day applications opened because I can't picture myself sharing a bathroom with about 12 other people. I also realised that I have about 50 youtube videos to catch up on due to my online absence - who knows when I'll get a chance to watch them all now...

Of course I miss all my friends and family who are scattered across the country, but it's only a couple of months until everyone will be at home for the Christmas holidays! It's also quite good because it means I actually have to make an effort to keep in contact with people either online or on the phone etc. Until then however, I have a lot of essays and books to read so I best stop writing this and actually get on with some more work!

More posts coming soon, hope everyone is doing well.

Laura.

Song: Photograph by Nickelback (Cover) - Alex Goot

Results and things.

I know this is rather late as A Level results were released a few weeks ago now, but better late than never right?

Surprisingly I didn't count down to results day, I tried to enjoy the time I had off rather than worrying about it. After all, worrying wouldn't change anything. Having said that I was fully prepared to fail. I even ordered Prospectuses from Universities I hadn't applied to in case I didn't get the grades I needed. People had asked me what grades I thought I'd get and from the beginning I'd predicted myself BBD - grades that would have probably left me desperately searching in Clearing for places.

However, results day finally arrived and to be honest I slept quite well. After my twin sister found out that she'd gotten in to her first choice online, I also checked Track to find I too had done well enough for my first choice to accept me - I can't tell you how relieved I was. The craziest thing was that when I went into school to collect my results I'd actually gotten my offer: ABB and the A was in Biology. For anyone who knows me they will know how unreal this was. After getting a C at AS and doing very poorly in my January Biology exams I had decided to retake every module in summer to attempt to get my grade up a little. I'm glad all those extra hours of work paid off in the end because I honestly thought I'd get a D. Although I do think my other two subjects suffered a little as a result, it was still enough to get me in. All my close friends also got into Uni and it was great to see every one of them so happy and go out for a drink and food too!

So basically to any AS students reading this, feeling bad about their results because they didn't get what they wanted I just want to say that it is possible to turn it around - even if it seems like it's impossible.

Now it's time to make sure I have everything sorted for University - eep.
Hope you're all doing well.

Laura.

Song: Over The Love by Florence and the Machine

Relative

Relative (Adjective)
- Considering in relation or in proportion to something else.

 

You know when something disastrous happens and it's headline news - perhaps it's an earthquake in a foreign country or the issue of world hunger, there's always people who are quick to compare these massive issues with smaller every day ones, stressing how we are self centred and so on. But to me, it seems that all of these problems are relative and can't necessarily be compared.

I've come to believe that everyone has their own issues and problems that they have to face and resolve, some of them are a lot smaller and easier to sort out than others but it doesn't make them any less important to that particular person at the time. The tragic stories you hear on the news can't be compared to someone facing depression, relationship issues or even just friends arguing. I'm not saying that the larger issues don't deserve people's attention as they definitely do and sometimes we need them to give us perspective - to make us see that there are people going through worse situations but, it doesn't take away from the fact that everything is relative.

It's not necessarily self centred to think about yourself sometimes, in my experience, the people who seem to be more content with their lives are the people who deal with their problems. Which means they are then better people generally and can focus their energy on the bigger and larger issues.

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battles." - Plato

Laura.

Song: Falling Slowly (Cover) by Becky CJ

(All of the above is purely my opinion.)

Uncertainty

Since leaving sixth form the future just seems to be so uncertain. Before this point I always had a rough idea of where I'd be in the future, what I'd be doing and who with - but now, with my A Level results looming, I have no idea where I'll be come September/October time and it's strange to me. Yet really, you can't ever be one hundred per cent certain about anything... I reckon it's because I can't second guess what my results will be.  
 
I'll just be glad when I at least know what University I'll be going to and which course, because then I will have an aim again, a new 'rough idea' and that's comforting to me.
 
Laura.

Song: Colourblind by Darius Campbell

This song reminds me of childhood summers and particularly of when I used to go to a dance school for a couple of weeks in the summer... memories.

Colours

"People observe the colours of a day only at its beginnings and ends but to me it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colours. Waxy yellows, cloud-spot blues, murky darkness."

- The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I think it's important to make the most of everything as and when it happens, rather than jumping ahead of ourselves and always thinking about the end of the day, tomorrow, or next week - focus on the 'middle' rather than just the beginnings and ends.

Laura.

Song: Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye

Bit of an Update

Well, it's been a long while since I last posted a post on here so I gathered it was time for an update of some sort. As most of you know, I took a break from writing on here due to my a-level exams as revising took over my life for a good few weeks. Regarding how they went, most of them went okay I think, however one of my Biology papers was dreadful - it was literally the worst exam paper I've ever done despite endless hours of revising and doing past papers but there you go. I honestly have no idea what grades I'll get - I just hope it's good enough. The main difference between this year's exams and last years was how spread out my exams were. Last year all of my exams were over in a week and a day or two - very close together and quite intense. In contrast, my exams lasted for a month this year. This was partly because I took a couple of AS resits but it seemed to drag on forever, plus the exam boards still don't seem to have co-ordinated with each other because just like last year I managed to have three essay based exams on one day (five and a half hours of writing is not fun under pressure). They will never learn I swear haha. But it's all over now and what's done is done, just got to wait now. I hope that everybody else's exams went okay and that you'll enjoy your summers rather than worry about the results too much!

So last week, after finally finishing exams, I met up with some of my friends. You don't realise how much time revising takes from you and it leaves little time to catch up with friends so it was good to see most of them again. Alex, Andy and I decided to make the most of our freedom while most other people are still stuck in school and visited London during the week. We went to the Science museum for about half the day because despite my growing hate for Biology alevel, science is still interesting when you aren't being examined on it. After that we went to Camden market as Andy had never been there and then had a quick visit to Leicester Square to kill some time. Buttttt, to top it off whilst in Camden we came across Charlie McDonnell (charlieissocoollike on Youtube) and managed to speak to him for a little bit which was awesome, plus have a photo which was kindly taken by one of Charlie's friends (I don't know his name - but thank you!). Overall it was a great day and it made me think again about chance again: if we'd been walking towards the tube station in Camden a minute or even a second or so later/earlier we probably wouldn't have seen Charlie at all - craziness.

Any way I think I've rambled on enough, I'm looking forward to going out and seeing different places, reading books I want to read, catching up with everyone at our Prom which is coming up soon and just making the most of my time off before work starts again in September for University (if I get in!).

I'll try and get back into writing a blog post at least once a week or so as long as I have something semi-interesting to say.



Best wishes,
Laura.

Song: Love Her for Her Fire by Leah McFall

Leaving

Today marked the end of my time at Queensbury, after five years of going there for school and sixth form it's strange to think I no longer have lessons or a set timetable. Most people spend their school days wishing they could leave but I honestly loved the time I spent at that school.

I'm glad that I took a chance back in 2008 and decided to go to a school where I didn't know many people because it was one of the best decisions. I've met some brilliant people and made some of the best friends I could ask for, I really don't know what I'd do without them now. They make me laugh every single day and I have tons of memories and jokes with all of them. At the beginning of year nine I would have never guessed I'd be where I am today. My teachers, particularly the ones that taught me at A-Level, made my time at Queensbury enjoyable and have helped me soo much over the past two years in particular. I'll miss them and seeing my friends everyday a lot. I think teachers can be undervalued sometimes - they do so much more than just talk at students about a certain subject for a few hours a week. At sixth form I definitely think you get to know small parts of the real 'people' behind the 'teacher' side of them and I feel privileged to be part of that. 

I wish all my friends and everyone else whose time at Queensbury has come to an end all the best for the future and for the upcoming exams. All of the people who have applied for University, I hope you all end up where you want to be and even if it wasn't your first choice - that it will be the right one. All our lives we've been working towards this point and now we're finally here it's so surreal because it always seemed so far away. Despite this being the end of something it's not the end of everything. I hope you keep in contact with all the people you've gotten to know over the past years because regardless of the good and bad things; they helped make you who you are today.

Thank you!

Laura.

Song: I Lived by OneRepublic

Vice Versa

"I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people, to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it’s the effect or vice versa."
- Lauren Oliver

I won't be posting all that much over the next couple of months due to my A-level exams but I hope all of your revision and preparation is going well!

Best wishes,

Laura.

Song: Alive by Gabrielle Aplin

Mountains

One of my best friends Emma replied to a blog post of mine a while back. The post was about time and was based on the saying "time heals". I loved her response so much that I decided to write it up, as it makes so much sense to me and I think other people would be able to relate to it too.

Sorry for the relatively brief post today and messy handwriting, I've been revising for my summer exams.
Hope every thing's going well.

Laura.

Song: Alive by Gabrielle Aplin

First thoughts

As most of you probably know, I'm a twin. Since my sister and I were very young we've been part of a twin's study called TEDS which looks at the effect of the environment, upbringing and various other things on people's development. Every now and then some of the researchers do a home visit which includes different things including physical measurements, memory activities and filling out questionnaires. As we recently turned eighteen we had one of these visits. One of the sections this time was about patterns according to shapes and colours. You had to pick from about 6 possible options which one would come next in the pattern sequence. The first ones are always easy but they get progressively harder. Inevitably I ended up making educated guesses nearer the end but it turned out I only got one wrong out of about 30 or something even though a good percentage had been guesses. It's weird how sometimes your first thoughts are just right even if you don't necessarily have much evidence to back them up.

Later my friend Andy came over to do some revision and we did a Biology past exam paper. Basically to cut a long story short, when we came back to marking it two hours later we found that the obvious 'first thought' concepts that we hadn't written down due to thinking they were too basic - actually would have gained us much needed marks. On refection we should have just gone with what we thought. Lastly, this point is kind of generalised but it is your first impressions of people. I've never thought I'm amazing at reading people and I definitely think that people are often more than the first impression they give out, however, I find that based on past experiences, I can usually tell what a person is like after a short time of talking to them. I think it's important to stick to your instincts when it comes to people, especially when it's a negative impression they give you.

After today I've come to the conclusion that if in doubt, always go with your initial thoughts or 'gut instinct' because most of the time, it's right.

Sorry for the long winded post haha.

Laura.

Song: For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic by Paramore
More about TEDS: Website 'here'

Old Friends

Every now and then I find myself thinking back to old friendships. Recently, when tidying my room, I decided to look through some old photos and the leavers messages people wrote for me on the last day of middle school - which is coming up to being five years ago now (something like that). I realised just how many of those people I don't speak to anymore. What hit me was the fact that I hadn't had arguments with these people or moved miles away from them. We had just drifted apart over time. When the messages were written we really had believed we'd be friends for the foreseeable future, I suppose we didn't account for things that would get in the way; whether it be time or other commitments. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss some of these people, but in reality I know I just miss the old version of them, the people I knew however many years ago - not necessarily the people they've become now.  

Of course, I didn't lose contact with all of my old friends. I've maintained friendships with people that have gone to different schools to me and we still have things to talk about. So I'm not saying that you always drift apart from people you don't see regularly because, for me at least, that isn't true. I just think it's strange and kind of sad when people you thought were good friends become strangers. However, I do think this is why I try and keep up regular contact with all of my friends as I know how easy it is for friendships to just 'die' without you even realising at the time. I hope that in the future, when my current friends and I are scattered all over the country at different Universities/Colleges, that we will remain friends despite the difficulties. 

But yes. I was reminded that things don't always plan out as you expected and that sometimes people do just go their separate ways. On a brighter note though I was also reminded of how many awesome people I've had the chance to know...

 

 Laura.

Song: If Only You Knew by Shinedown

Vulnerability

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
- C.S Lewis

Laura.

Song: Lost! by Coldplay

Things | March

Thought I'd share some of the things I've been loving the past couple of months and decided the easiest way was through pictures...






1) 'Bad Blood' by Bastille - Love this album and all the songs on it, particularly 'Flaws' and 'Oblivion' go and listen to them if you haven't already!
2) 'Night Visions' by Imagine Dragons - Another album that I keep listening too and only recently discovered - well a few weeks ago. I recommend 'Demons' and 'It's Time' but I love all of the songs on this album, definitely worth a listen.
3) Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler - After waiting for this book to come back in stock on Amazon for weeks I finally got my copy this week, the illustrations in this are just lovely and the writing is great too; I'm already half way through.
4) Jane Eyre DVD (2011) - I went to see this film with some of my friends from my English Lit class when it was released, but my friend Nadine got me it for my birthday and I've already watched it again. It's such a pretty film and easy to understand for any of you that find old language daunting.
5) Urban Decay Naked Pallette - I use this pretty much everyday, usually Sin and Sidecar blended together.
6) Sainsbury's Taste the Difference triple chocolate cookies - These are amazing and are only one pound for four, what's not to love about that?
7) Primark Super Cosy Tights in black - So glad I have some of these, especially as it's been freezing here recently. They are the warmest, comfiest tights I've ever owned and they aren't expensive either.

Laura.

Song: Everything by Ben Howard

Self Image

"One's conception of oneself"

Laura Skelton, eighteen years old, five foot five inches (roughly).
I'm a sixth form student studying a slighty weird combination of subjects because I wanted to keep my options open and decided to do things that I enjoy. I like reading books, learning new things and I'm a blogger. I have blonde hair, but that doesn't define me really.

I can be incredibly shy when I first meet people and I worry that they simply won't notice me because of it. I'm creative when I want to be, I like drawing and painting - even if I'm not that good. I'm a lover of music and it's ability to change my mood. I'm a keeper of several scrapbooks, magazines and quotations. My physical appearance doesn't bother me too much, I'm not stunningly beautiful, but that's okay. People are more than just an outer shell, what I look like is only one aspect of who I am. I just hope other people can look past the outside too.

I'm a friend to many people, a best friend to others, a family member and a twin sister.



I am an overthinker, I think too much about insignificant things that will probably never happen or don't matter. I care a lot and although that means I can be easily hurt sometimes, I'm willing to take that risk. I can be cautious but I'm also ambitious. I am a listener and value other people's opinions. I want to help people or do something that will have an impact beyond my lifetime alone. I'm not sure where I'll end up, or how I'll get there but whatever route I take - I'm sure it will be the right one. 


This is me and this is twenty thirteen...



Laura.

This was in response to this: Rosianna
and this: Ophelia Dagger

Song: In the End by Black Veil Brides

Blogging, blogs and bloggers.

I took some time out from doing coursework and other A-Level work this afternoon to read through some of the older posts on blogs I've been following for quite sometime. That's one thing with blogging you can come across a blog and just sort of 'tag along' and follow it without having to read all of the previous posts. One thing that's interesting to see when you do look back is how the person has changed over time - you can see it in their posts and you definitely learn more about them if you're willing to take the time to go back and look. However, after reading a good few hundred posts (yes, I read a lot), I decided to read through my own old ones and I realised that some of my own thoughts and topics directly linked with the blogs I had just been reading. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we probably have quite a lot more in common with other people than we think we do - we just don't realise it because it's not a common thing to write down what you're thinking about or how you're feeling.

It made me think back to why I started blogging in the first place. Although, my 2010 posts are rather random and not really real 'blogging' because it wasn't consistent... I have been posting since then. From about 2011 onwards the main reason I decided to keep blogging was mainly for myself. I never expected anybody else to read what I wrote, or find it particularly interesting - I don't have a target audience in mind when I type my posts which is probably different to most other bloggers. Blogging for me is just a way to collect my thoughts, opinions, feelings and views on events all in one place. That way it's not being locked up inside my head which is good being the over thinker that I am and it also means I can look back on things easily. I've probably mentioned in a previous post that I want to do something in my life that helps people and in a strange way I realised that maybe these little posts might help someone - who knows! This is my way of putting out a part of me without having to record myself and vlog on Youtube I guess.

At the end of last year I was worried that I was running out of things to write about on here and that consequently my blog was sort of 'finished' but on reflection now, I reckon I'll always have an opinion on something. Also, with University coming up near the end of this year I think blogging will be a good way to record that time in my life - even if nobody reads it other than me. I've also been able to chat to some lovely people who have stumbled upon my blog too, which is awesome, so thanks to anyone who reads my blog!

Okay, I think that's enough I need to get back to my English and Biology coursework.
Hope you're all having a nice day.

Laura.

Song: It's Time by Imagine Dragons (Acoustic)
Twitter: 'Here' @lauraskelton_

Eighteen

18... The big one, eight.
Okay so maybe it's not exactly 'big' but regardless, it's my 18th birthday today.

It's definitely one of those 'significant' birthdays, you know - the one where you're suddenly allowed to do more things even though you feel no different and are considered to be an adult opposed to a child. It just reminded me how quickly time passes but also how many things I've done already, I'm looking forward to the next few years! So many things will be happening and changing, hopefully it all goes well.

I might upload some photos from today in another post, we shall see.
Hope you all had a great day.

Laura.

Song: Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

Also thank you to anyone who gave me presents/cards/messages, they are all much appreciated!

Bad days

I rarely have really bad days because usually, even if something negative happens, the good things normally outweigh it. But, you know those days where every little thing just seems to go wrong? Yeah, they aren't cool.

Yesterday things just went wrong. My driving lesson went badly, I left things I needed at home, work had piled up and I had things to organise last minute; it just wasn't my day. Of course looking back now I can see it wasn't so bad - it definitely could have been worse but it wasn't the best of times. I can get so consumed in every small problem that arises sometimes and when they all come together it seems a lot more daunting and unsolvable. Whereas, when I figure each thing out one at a time it's more manageable. I've found it's partly how you react to what happens that is important, you just have to look for the small things that were good - even in the very bad days and don't attempt to do too much at once.

If you do happen to have a bad day, I can say with great certainty that the chances are tomorrow will be better.

"There is no ideal world for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it's up to you how you respond to it." - Isaac Marion

Laura.

Song: I Won't Forget by Greg Holden

 

Time heals?

They say time helps heal things. Maybe they say this because as the days go by you start to forget all the little details of what actually happened when replaying it in your head, or you begin to forget exactly how you felt in the situation when it happened. But maybe it's just because after time has passed whatever happened just doesn't seem to matter so much anymore?

Laura.

Song: Set Fire to the Rain by Adele

Aims of 2013

I think this year is going to be quite a significant one.
For starters it's the last year of sixth form, which means it's the last school year with all of my friends being in the same town at the same time. Pretty much all my friends have applied for University now and believe me, we could end up all over the country so I've promised myself to make the most of the time that's left with them all. You definitely get to a point where you realise arguments are just a waste of time and I think that attitude is part of the reason why I've maintained a lot of my close friendships. It's easy to get carried away with A levels and I think it's important to remember your friends too. As I've mentioned many times before, this year also involves taking my A2 exams, which I'm not looking forward to at all - so much pressure. I also turn 18 this year, how crazy, I remember when I was little I used to think being that age was so old and so far away! Anywho, I thought I'd do my normal list of things I want to do or achieve this 'important' year.

- Pass my driving test
- Get into my first choice University
- Make the most of the time left with old friends
- Be more confident in general
- Keep in touch with people when/if I go to Uni
- Procrastinate less and be more motivated
- Do well in my A2 exams
- Spend more time with my family
- Keep my blog going for at least one more year

That's all I can think of right now, I may add to this later.
Does anybody else have aims or goals for the year rather than typical things like 'go to the gym' and 'eat less chocolate'? I find this is more rewarding than setting resolutions like that.

Anyway, I hope 2013 is a great year for you all.

Laura.

Song: Is This Thing On? by Pink