Forever

"When 'forever' is a promise, it's always a lie."

Laura.

Song: When We Stand Together by Nickelback

I ask you this.

Do you know that I can't ignore everything as you close these doors, selling out my dreams as easy as it seems to you - I'm sorry, I'm not gonna lose. To the chains holding me, how strong can you really be? As I ask you this. The bruises on my legs reflect what I should have said and it's all my fault. I hope you know that I don't expect much from any of you as you curse me good luck, selling out your soul as easy as you go. I'm sorry, really, I'd love to jump on board but I am busy believing in everything I've worked for. Yes I'm sorry, I need to, I hate to break it to you but I'm gone.

- Greg Holden

Love this song! So good.

Laura.

Song: Always Attract by Youmeatsix

Wasting time.

Don't waste time on people who aren't worth it. People change beyond recognition and you'll realise you don't even know the real them anymore - they're not the person you originally made friends with. There are so many more important things to focus on and you just can't keep every single friendship you make in life. Perhaps it's harsh, maybe it's giving up too soon. But I'm bored with giving people endless chances and being patient and persistent all the time. I'm gone.

Laura.

Song: Blind by Kesha

Floating

"I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far over the hills. But I am here, my legs blocks of concrete, my lungs empty of air, my throat burning. There will be no floating away." - The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

Sometimes we have to face up to reality instead of attempting to hide and run away from it because however hard we try to block it out - it will still be there, waiting.

Laura.

Song: The Fear by Ben Howard

Some people...

There are some people that you'll meet in life and from the very beginning you'll respect them. However it's not until you get to know these people a little bit better that you realise the reason for this. They are the sort of people who stay strong until the very end - no matter what, put other people before themselves and generally care a lot about everything they're involved in. But people like this are rare. I've only had the privilege of knowing a few people like this but I'm so glad I got the chance to know them because they showed me how hard real life can be & that even though things can become difficult - there's always a way through it even, if it's not obvious at first glance... I've always said that it's the people you know and meet that shape you into the person you are but these people are the type who go a step further and guide you throughout life too. I'm forever grateful for them being in my life, even if only for a short while.

"I wanted to pay for my successes with all my defeats."

Laura.

Song: When My Time Comes by Dawes (Cover) - Greg Holden
I love this song and Greg Holden plus it relates to the situation at the moment...

A Levels

I never thought that A Levels were going to be easy, but I never thought they'd be as hard as they're proving to be. I really like the subjects I picked but the amount of work I've got to do for them is crazy. Whenever I finish an essay or several pages of notes, I'll be given another two sets, I swear it's a never ending pile. I have no idea how I'm going to remember everything for the exams either. To be fair though, my subject combination was always going to challenge me. The worst thing is when you get a bad grade for something that took you hours to do or a test you revised such a long time for - you just feel so gutted. I'm not failing any of my subjects but it's hard when everybody else seems to get it that little bit more than you, particularly when my target grades are so high. They say they want me achieving them by Christmas?! Not happening, I can tell you that now. But today I was talking to one of my old teachers and she reminded me that it'll all be worth it in the end. Things like A Levels never promised to be easy, just worth all the effort and hard work in the end. Even though sometimes I feel like I should just give up and do something easier - I remember that people have passed them before, so I can do them just as well. So I'm not giving up on them just yet, but jeeez, it's testing me more than anything else I've done so far...

Laura.

Song: When My Time Comes by Dawes

Determination.

"I know it hurts, I know you're bruised but it's only on the inside. I know you're lost and you're confused yeah, it's only on the inside. I see you walk and you're dragging your feet, but it's only for a moment - stuck at the part where you feel incomplete, yeah it's only for a moment."
- Thriving Ivory

Things always get better, it just takes time. Don't give up on what you believe in just because you've been knocked down, not everything works out quite right the first time. Determination can get you a long way. Sometimes we forget we're only living as one person though. We can't do everything at once or be expected to get everything right - everybody makes mistakes. You can't change the past but you can determine your own future by acting now. What happens, happens. Accept things for what they are and whatever you do - Don't give up.

Laura.

Song: All Fall Down by One Republic